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We feel crushed that such a lovely person had to endure such a cruel illness and that our friend has lost the love of his life. Today we choose to feel joy that such a wonderful person was in our lives for a time, joy that our two friends became lovers. Joy can be found in the company and remembrance of the people we love. Despite what many others might think, I don't believe in the simple and momentary happiness of life. I don't believe people when they say one must live in the moment and forget about the future and the past. To be more precise, I don't believe in the linear time we have been told about.
Through learning, I meet knew people, I am part of the languages learning community on social platforms and even if I dont know those people personally, I feel part of something, I feel supported and accepted. It has taken me a (66 year) lifetime to get to the point where I can understand what joy is. Joy, for me, is the smorgasbord of life, in all its vintage bag melbourne complexities, that I have the privilege to witness and indulge in. There is joy in making a fine cup of coffee, a pure blue sky, a smile from my wife, a scent of roses. The joy is in seeing beauty mostly everywhere one looks and appreciating it all.
My joy now comes from my beautiful wife, my lovely daughter, my great step kids, and going to live shows. It’s the small things in life that we sometimes overlook that joy can be found in. Now that I’m older, I’m more diligent at looking for joy in these areas. Can’t find four leaf clovers if you don’t look for them.
As a kid, death was such a overwhelming thought and it's something I was anxious about until my mid thirties. I would often have reccuring dreams about my family being murdered and the thought of dying seemed like a terrifying, abstract concept.My anxiety about death was so great, for my 40th birthday, I took myself off to do a 10 day vipassana mediation. Over 10 hard, long days I grappled with my mortality and while sitting in the large, still hall I realised that by clinging onto control and avoiding the reality of death, I was making things much worse.Life since has taught me about death in real time. My father passed suddenly from pancreatic cancer, a dear friend from bowel cancer and friend's daughter from a brain tumour. Death found it's way to my door and made me sit with it.Death has taught me about the fragility of life and the importance of the very very small moments of joy.
What a joy it is that we can create. Even death (a struggle of mine) lends itself to rebirth. Cultural touchstones like Ying Yang or a Native American custom to be buried in a tree so as to feed it, all lend themselves to this cyclical nature. I find my heart is filled with joy whenever my little dog that I waited over 20 years for greets me at the door.
I think that with my tiredness and my over-concentration on the boy,... The separation was difficult, especially because she wanted to keep the child. Since then I've only been able to see him every other weekend. I was so unhappy, I had no energy left, I was living in an apartment that was nothing but rubbish.In this school year, as the school was close to my home...
So the joy when by luck there's a baby in front of me - in a cafe, supermarket, on an airplane... And double joy points if I can make them smile. Or I see an interaction between a toddler and their parent and it's so beautifully simple and sweet - it just makes me overwhelmingly happy.
My joy first and foremost is in my family. My partner Tim and our three incredible children, Elias, Billy and August. This joy is not only the laughter and the hugs but it is also the lessons they teach me that bring me closer to who I am. Up second would be knitting and reading books, preferably in nature.
Which is smiling at dogs, ice cream, PJ's, sending a silly quote or picture to my friends or spending time in my home. Maybe joy is the small things and just being thankful for that and then the massive joyous things will just suddenly appear and you don't have to dream anymore. I work the night shift at a suicide phone line. I do it because I'm good at it, not for any other reason. I hear things that break my heart, that make me angry at the world.
I finally got to see an artist I greatly admire perform a song that I love so much. There of course are other ways I experience joy, but the live music experience is the most meaningful for me. I am surprised at how easy this is to answer. On a macro level, I find my joy in the hope and belief of a promised eternal life.
Can you find some time during these serious situations to find peace and joy in something. Something that can make you laugh...I think laughter is so vital! I find joy in anything or anyone who can make me laugh. My only son also brings me immense joy...
Joy is fleeting, transcendent, and more intense compared to the enduring, more stable emotion of happiness.This is perhaps why joy escapes you. You cannot catch it, control it, or feel it on demand. It is always present but often hidden in the noise of the day, requiring our attention to be ready to notice it when it decides to reveal itself. Practicing gratitude daily is perhaps a way to prepare ourselves to be ready and have the best chance of noticing joy when the time comes.Perhaps this is why joy is better understood or felt—“brought into focus,” as you said—through what we have lost.
I put the kettle on, put Van - always Van - on the stereo, either Astral Weeks or No Guru, No Method, No Teacher. I make a cup of tea and stand there in front of the kitchen sink, sipping, breathing, looking contentedly out the window at the falling rain and the garden all wet and glistening, whilst Van weaves his magic. It’s my kind of church, my kind of joy. Unalloyed joy - this may sound trite (and apologies to my beloved family & friends) but it’s free wheeling down a country lane in southern England on a summer day on my beloved bicycle. I find my joy usually when I am looking up. When I take a deep breath, and look up to see a beautiful blue sky, or a cotton candy sunrise, a huge tree, or a flock of geese, these are the moments that bring me joy.
But when I am open and feeling at peace with myself then I can see the world for what it is, a true collection of beauty and wonder of which I am forever in awe of. It is in those moments I that I can truly feel joy. So, when I am not joyful, or even happy, I have learnt to first look inward rather than point fingers at the world and those around me. When I need or want to feel joy, or when I notice I haven't been noticing joy as much as I want to, or I've been trying hard to and feel that drowning from all of the other things, from loss, from stress, from insecurity and fear. Then I try to remember I can always find joy in the zooming out.